Dear Diary: 15 & 16 Weeks

Late late late post. But these last two weeks have sort of melted into one.

Work has been really busy and really stressful. I get up, I go to work, I come home, I go to bed. That has been my life for the last two weeks. It's so tiring but I've got to keep going.

Along with working crazy hours and days, we have been searching the high heavens for our own place, it's got to be the right area, the right price with the right transportation links. It's not easy, hopefully soon we will find the right place for us all soon. I want to make this move stick, I'm fed up of moving every year!

Week 15 was pretty quiet for baby, other than me trying to feel baby move there isn't much to say.
Week 16 however!!! We had our private gender scan, which was the most amazing experience of my life. Finding out that we are having a baby girl. Every day since my scan I have stared at her face, smiling and knowing she's perfect. She has made everything fall into perspective for us. We now know what we want for her, what we need for her. I want her to be happy, need for nothing and be loved by absolutely every one that matters!

I can't wait to feel her move. I'm starting to feel little poppings and fluttered, but they are on and off, so I can't be 100% sure what I am feeling is actually the baby. 

Now we just need to pick her name. 

I'm still struggling for names, I love one name but then I start doubting it. I think we're closer, as we have started to narrow it down to our favourite. 

These last two weeks have been a tad emotional, maybe from being over tired, maybe from hormones, but I can literally cry over everything. I am pretty good at not crying in front of people unless something stresses me out to much. Crying at work, in front of my Team Leader was probably the most embarrassing time I have cried so far, I'm not sure he knew what to do.

Letting everything get to me this week has been difficult, I feel like I am constantly apologising to Luke for being horrible to him, for no reason. But in the next breath I want cuddles, kisses and his attention. Luke's always been good at managing my mood swings. He's so patient, he needs a medal I think.  

My bump is getting big now, and everything I have to wear is getting very uncomfortable. I even bought bigger stuff, but that's not the right way to go, they fit around the bump but every where else they look ridiculous. It makes me both sad and happy to see my clothes not fitting. I'm sad because it means I'm getting bigger, but I'm happy because I know my baby girl is growing stronger, and bigger every day. 

Every one can tell I am pregnant, there is no second guessing anymore, it's just all bump.

Cravings this week haven't changed, it's milk milk milk, in the morning, that's all I can think about when I wake up. 

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Dear Diary... IT'S A...

GIRL!!!

I can not express how over the moon I am about finding out the gender of our baby. But mostly I felt relief knowing that everything was okay. 

Strangely enough I slept really well last night, I thought I would be awake wondering if the baby was okay. But I slept right through, I have been really tired lately. I woke up super early though but refrained from getting ready and setting off way to early. It was hard. 

All the way there, I was drinking lots of water making sure my bladder was full and ready, by the time I got there I was uncomfortable and really needed to go, but I stopped myself.

I took Luke (of course), my mum, her husband, my sister and my friend. All piling into a small room ready to see whether my baby was a boy or a girl. 

The sonographer was a really friendly woman, and she explained everything to us. But as soon as she put the scanner onto my stomach she said she thinks she knows what it is, but my bladder was too full and that I would have to empty it. I was relieved but confused. Apparently you only need a full bladder before 12 weeks, after it's completely empty. 

When I came back the scanner was literally on my stomach for about 30 seconds and she confirmed that it was what she thought... It's a girl! 

I started getting tearful, and started shaking, and the woman asked if I was okay, but I didn't want to cry in front of everyone, so I kept it to myself. I know if it was just me and Luke I would of been blubbering so much. I managed to keep my cool. 

As soon as the woman turned the screen onto 4D, it was so overwhelming. There she was, my baby girl, wriggling around, arms and legs all tucked in. She was really cuddling and snuggling up to me. I was in love again! 

Her little arms and legs so skinny. She was hiding from us a little bit, so the woman starting "gently" poking my stomach to get her to lower her arms. Which she did for us. 

At the point whilst I was watching my daughter (OMG I can say daughter) move, Zoe asked the woman how she knew that it was a girl. She explained by saying that they have to check using 2D and for a boy they can see a Snail like shape at the bottom, but for a girl they see three lines, she was pretty confident and told us how many scans she does a week so she knew what she was looking for. 

I have been saying since I found out I was pregnant, that I had a feeling it was a girl. I guess it's just instinct, some people just know don't they.

I was crazy about my little girl within seconds, and then we saw her face...

"Look at her little button nose" the lady kept saying to me. I have a little button nose, I am just over the moon with her. She's beautiful, and I always said that 4D scans looked strange, but it's different I suppose, that's my little girl there and she's perfect!

Everything was going great and seeing her move around and seeing her face was amazing. But the best was to come... 

Anyone that knows me, you don't even need to know me well, but you will know that I suck my thumb. Always have, always will. And there was my baby girl, sucking her thumb. That was it, both me and Luke knew she was ours, we created her. She was sucking her thumb, just like me... her mum. I couldn't believe it. I know so many babies do this, and it may not be special to anyone, but I've sucked my thumb my entire life, and I know what it is for me, it's my comfort, and to see my baby doing the same thing, and snuggling up to me was just what I needed to see. 

I would highly recommend Hello Baby, they were so nice and made me feel like I wasn't one of 200 women a week going for the same thing. The sonographer kept telling me my baby was a cutie, and made me feel really relaxed. And the bed was ridiculously comfy. I need one of those.

It's a bit far away, but definitely worth the drive. Seeing my baby like this was the best experience I have ever had to date. And was a priceless moment. Something I was carry with me forever, something I will share with my daughter one day, a precious memory.

How did you find out the gender of your baby?

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Dear Diary: A Day Off Together

Because January and February are our "peak" trading months at work, no one is allowed a Saturday off... And for some is seems we're also not allowed Sunday's off.
I'm not the only one but I haven't had a Sunday off since Christmas, and I'm knackered. I've had random days off here and there, but I finally have two days of together. And one of them is a Sunday!

And whats more exciting is that the husband is off for both of them days too.
We don't get a lot of opportunities to spend time with each other. He works Monday to Friday and leaves the house at 7:30am and doesn't get in until after 8 at night.
I work every shift under the planet (or so it seems) but because I work weekends, it's been a long time since we have had a day off together. By the time we both get in, had our teas, I'm knackered and just want to get to bed. When I'm tired I like my own space and time, just to unwind and take my mind off my busy day. Luke's the same he needs his space to unwind. So it's a cuddle and a kiss and off to bed I go.

It's also difficult because we haven't had our own place in 6 months, so doing anything just us feels a bit selfish. But we all need that. Once we're back in our own home and the baby is here, we'll have plenty of family time.

We haven't got much planned for today, I think we're just going to enjoy relaxing a bit, take a trip to my mums, walk to dog and lounge around in our comfies. Might sound boring, but it sounds bloody perfect to me. I can't remember the last time we got a chance of doing nothing together so I'm really looking forward to him waking up and we can enjoy it together.


Tomorrow of course we have our private Gender Scan booked, and being able to have today to relax and get excited about it is something I'm really grateful for. I didn't want to only get the chance to speak about the excitement an hour before the scan.

I do miss days of us goofing around and enjoying each others company, maybe we need a little break together?

 

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Dear Diary: Coming Soon...

Boy or Girl?

We will find out tomorrow! Keep Posted! 

I'll be posting my week 15 & 16 together, not much happened in 15. 

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Dear Diary: Boy or Girl? And what will I call them?

The big question: Boy or Girl?!?!

I bet it's the first thing that most newly pregnant women and their partners think about. OMG what am I having?! A boy? Or a girl?A lot of people say that they aren't bothered just as long as the baby is healthy, but they only say this when they are pregnant. And it's true, I'm not bothered what my baby is as long as my baby is healthy and happy. But before I was pregnant I thought I wanted a boy, I could just imagine my little boy to look just like Luke, dark hair, olive skin, dark eyes. But the more and more I think about it, I can now imagine a little girl, pale skin, bright green eyes and chocolate brown hair. Both are perfect in my mind. A lot of people ask the question “would you find out what you're having before they're born?” my answer is always “HELL YES” I am way to impatient not to. Plus I want that nice surprise when I can enjoy it. If I find out at birth is won't be a case of excitement over what sex the baby is, it'll be a case of “I don't care, as long as they are healthy?!”

I always said that I didn't want to pay for the gender scan, because I thought it was pointless, a few weeks later you have the 21 week scan and you can find out then. But after speaking to the midwife after my last scan, she told me that yes they can tell you the gender if it's visible to them, the scan really isn't for telling you the gender, it's more about the health checks.
So I booked my private gender scan with a company called Hello Baby, specialise in bonding scans. I originally booked mine for when I was exactly 17 weeks pregnant, but yesterday they moved my appointment forward so I will be 16+4 when I see my baby next.
I can't tell you how nervous/excited I am. I will so much more relaxed when I can see the baby move again.

When it comes to names it's the biggest conversation on mine and Luke's topic of discussion. Naming a person is the biggest thing I have had the thing about, it's so permanent. Not only have they got to suit it now, but what about when they are older? And what about other peoples opinion? It all matters right, or am I over thinking this, should I just go with what I want and not care about other people, easier said that done because I don't really know what I want. Boys names are easier I feel.

I really like traditional names for boys but for girls it's not so easy finding something I like, there reason isn't "traditional" names for girls. There's current names or older names. My friend sent me a list of 100 girls names to pick from, I chose 4 that could be a possibility.

We have settled on Joseph for a boy, but I do not want it to get shortened to Joe or Joey. This is going to be a hard task but everyone close to me knows how I feel. I love the name Joseph not Joe.

We are really undecided on a girls name. Do we want something a bit more unique, or something cute or something "normal" ?

Boys Names: 
Joseph
Jonah
Arthur

Girls Names:
Madison
Annie
Ivy
Autumn
Willow      

How did you decide on a name?

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Dear Diary: 14 Weeks Pregnant

Finally I am caught up with my weeks. It's been a crazy week and blogging has taken a step back, but hopefully things are finally going to settle down. Lots of personal things have been happening at "home" but it's pushed us in the right direction and made us think a lot about how things are going to be when the baby is here.

First thing first on our to do list is finding our own place, and finally being ourselves again. No stress. No drama. Easier said than done sometimes. But onwards and upwards.

This week in my pregnancy, everything has started to settle down symptoms wise. My boobs are no longer incredibly painful, and sickness isn't an issue anymore. Every now and again something will turn my stomach and make my gag, but I'm no longer afraid I'm going to be sick.
These symptoms not being as prominent now is a blessing and a curse. I'm obviously very grateful to be feeling more like myself and less like a zombie. But at the same time the symptoms were comforting because they made me "feel pregnant". I know that chances of m/c are very slim after the 12 week scan, and finding out everything is okay, but I also know that nothing is ever certain.
I really need to stay away from google, I keep reading horror stories, mixed in with a lot of great stories. But that one bad story in the middle of 10 good stories makes me panic.
I'm back in paranoid/anxiety mode and it's not doing me too good.

I have been crazy emotional these last couple of weeks, everything makes me cry. The personal stuff that has been going on at home hasn't helped, but I have a lot of support behind me and that's all that matters. But it's not just the big things that are making me cry, it's even down to a soppy song on the radio, or a cute moment in a film, and the more I sob the worse I am, once I have started I can not stop.

I'm craving a lot of milk lately, it's all I want to drink, especially in the morning. As soon as I wake up, I want my toast and I want my glass of milk. It could be worse though. Milks not the worse thing someone can crave. My vinegar craving isn't has bad anymore, I do crave it when I have chips in front of me, or if I want a packet of crisps it's got to be salt & vinegar.

Everyone is crazy about guessing the sex of the baby, which makes me so excited to talk about, I can not wait to be able to refer to baby as he or she, him or her, or by their names. (I'm going to do a separate post about names)
A lot of people are guessing girl though. A few people saying it's because of how I'm carrying, a few people saying because of my cravings and even one person asked me about the colour of my pee (what?!?!) - it's always the height of conversation with me though.

My bump is growing a lot lately, it feels like it grows inches over night! Every time I leave the house people stare or ask how far a long I am, which I love again, because every chance to talk baby I jump at it. Every one says that my bump is big for 14 weeks pregnant. But it was the same with my mum, as soon as she found out she was pregnant, the morning after she would have a massive bump, it was crazy, but I guess I just take after my mum in that sense. I love my bump though, I hold & cuddle it all the time. I'm constantly pushing lightly on it to see if I can feel anything, but I can't :( - not yet, it's a bit to early yet. I feel so much better not having to hide my growing stomach from the world, instead I'm embracing it.

Work hasn't been easy, it's been really busy as this is our peak times, which means we don't get a lot of time to be away from our desks, which is giving me a lot of back problems, and I've been getting a lot of achy/dull pains, some times shooting pains, I have been told this is normal though. But it got to the point the other day I had to ask for 5 minutes just to stretch my legs a bit. There is another woman on my team at work, who is 5 weeks further a long than me, which I find really comforting having someone to talk to about the symptoms and normalities of everything. She has just started feeling her baby kick on the outside now. I can't wait for that day! - We have both asked for back braces for our chairs at work and foot rests, hopefully these help.

I am also starting to look into joining Aqua Natal classes and yoga classes, because I have been very lazy through-out this pregnancy, and I think I need to get off my ass and do something. I have heard that Aqua Natal is really good if you have back problems too. Just what I need, there's a place called Splash in the town next to mine, and it's great because the sessions are on a Thursday night, so perfect to go straight after work.

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Dear Diary: Hello Baby/Gender Scan

Booking my private gender scan was beyond nessesary for me. I am the most impatient person in the world. And I also think that people who wait until baby is born to find out, they're going to be too tired and too bothered about the baby being healthy than what the sex actually is. So I'm looking forward to being in a calm state of mind when I find out

Of course all I want is a beautiful healthy baby which I will get no matter what the sex of my child is. But when I comes down to what sex I would like... 

Before me and Luke even started trying for a baby I always said I'll probably have a boy, I always thought that Luke had stronger features than me and that it would carry over onto a little boy who looks just like his daddy. We started trying and I carried them thought over. But now that I'm expecting, I have this feeling that I can't explain, but I think it may be a girl. More or less everyone that I have spoken to says them same. Luke's nan swears it's a girl, she's so adoment that her and Luke but a £10 bet on it. Just for a bit of a laugh. 

My best friends Abbie (who is also my sister) and Zoe have bet too. Abbie thinks boy. Zoe thinks girl. Their bet is for whoever wins gets first babysitting duty. So cute. 

My friend actually reccomended Hello Baby for my gender scan, it's where she went for hers and they treat her so nice. When she went for the scan the baby was led in a position they couldn't see what the baby was, so they rescheduled her for the week after. You get the prints of the baby and a 15 minute DVD, and it's only £60 (although you may have to pay extra for the DVD, I can't remember). Which I think is a great price and it's 4D too. I'm beyond excited. 

I booked my appointment for the 29th January when I will be 17 weeks pregnant. 

www.hellobaby4dscan.co.uk

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