Dear Diary: Week 23 & 24

*Really late with this post*

These last few week have been busy but slow. I had a week off work about 2 weeks ago which was heaven, I didn't want to go back. I would say I will get a lot of time off when the baby is here, but we all know looking after babies can be a full time job. But it's a job I'm actually looking forward to having. 

Nothing much had changed pregnancy wise. Except I am enjoying being pregnant a lot more. My nerves are still there, when I eat something a bit to salty or I eat a fair bit of chocolate during the day, I panic I'm going to hurt the baby some how. I know that it's not as simple as that and I do drink lots of water and eat some fruit and veg each day. I find it difficult but I try. 

I have started to feel her move a lot more now which is always reassuring, and I've even started to see movements, tiny little movements on top of the skin. Mainly when I am in the bath (I have even got it on video). It makes me so happy feeling her move, knowing she is in there, happy, healthy, comfy. 

As each day passes I get that little bit more nervous about being a mum, about having everything she needs, being everything she needs. 

These last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions. I know I can pin it down to hormones and get away with it, but hearing a slow soppy song on my iPod, and I'm in floods. But every time I cry I feel that sense of relief, like a good cry can really sort you out. 

Changes to my body over these last two weeks have really started to stand out. My boobs are HORRIBLE, I mean it, they are horrid, people always think that when you're pregnant and your boobs go big that it's amazing. Well 1) I have never liked big boobs, my clothes and dress sense doesn't suit them. 2) They are so uncomfortable. 3) They are pregnancy boobs, and they look like it too. 

My belly button looks very strange. I think it may pop out soon.

My legs and bum also don't look great either. I know I have put weight on and I know it's down to me. Sometimes it upsets me, sometimes it just makes me realise that I will work hard to get into shape. 

My cravings are the same, milk in the morning, fizzy pop in the afternoon. And I find that I am really thirsty a lot at night time too. I could go all morning without a drink (except milk) if I didn't force myself to have water. But at night time, right before bed I have to drink a bottle of water, I don't know why this is?

I've also been thinking a lot about whether or not I'm going to breastfeed. I always said I wanted to, because of all the benefits, for both me and the baby. But the closer I get and the more thinking I do about it, I'm starting to wonder whether it's right for me or not? If anyone has any advise please let me know?
I'm more worried about the restrictions that come with breast feeding. Feeling like I can't go any where, because I'm not the kind of person that would feel comfortable breast feeding in public. That and what if I need my mum or sister to look after her for a few hours, I know I can express milk, but won't I still fill up ready for her normal feed times, and then what do I do? 

Please can someone shed some light on this for me?

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Dear Diary: Project-B Weeks 16-19

Click on image to be taken to website.

Opening my first Project-B box was so exciting. If you have ever had a glossy box, it's like receiving that every month, except it's full of pregnancy goodies.

A friend told me about them and straight away I was interested. The good thing is that it's monthly based on how far you are into your pregnancy, so your needs are different, and every box knows it.

Weeks 16-19.

The first thing I saw was a book, I just thought it was a magazine on the brand. But it was actually a recipe book on Super Fruits in pregnancy. This book is amazing, it has some really nice recipes in there. How to make smoothies, what fruits go together well etc... It's really interesting, because eating fruit on it's own can get a little boring, and choir like. Mixing it up like this is a really easy and fun way to get the fruit that you need.

Opening my box was like a child opening a present on Christmas morning. I was so excited.

The first thing I came across, was some cards with tips on...

These cards are really handy. Like the exercise for a fitter pregnancy card, I have always been a bit scared of "over" doing it, and hurting myself. Or worse the baby. So it's really reassuring. And doing these exercises do make you feel like you're doing something to help.
The recipe card is another great one because in my box I got a packet of Quinola.

I have never head Quinola, and it reminds me a lot of couscous. Tasting it also reminded me of couscous. The texture and everything is very similar. I'm not a big fan of it myself, just because of the texture. But I do think that if you are into that kind of thing, it'll make a nicer alternative sometimes.

Next was BBB (Bloom, Bump, Baby) Stretch Mark Defence Body Oil...

And as you can see from my latest bump picture, I don't have any stretch marks. I have been applying this oil every night after my bath or shower. It smells amazing, it doesn't feel oily. It is a little sticky when applying, but dries really fast. I have used Bio Oil in the past for scars, but it is sticky and doesn't really dry, just sort of rubs off. I would highly recommend.

I also got a little tester of Cocoa Butter Formula, I can't really give you my advise on this, as the smell really turns my stomach. I think this is a pregnancy related dislike! I have been told that it's really nice and works wonders on dry skin.

I also got some lovely BB cream from the bran Ginvera, and it was Green Tea scented and it smelt amazing. I have really sensitive skin, but this was so gentle on my face. It just felt like a really nice light moisturizer. I normally suffer from dry skin, but during my pregnancy I have been breaking out, and this BB cream gave me enough coverage, without feeling like I was adding to the problem.

My last thing I got was Mum's D Drops...

In my first midwife appointment she mentioned the lack of Vitamin D within new born babies, because their mums aren't getting enough during pregnancy. So when this came in my box I was actually very happy and relieved there is something out there that can help. You just add one drop to a glass of water each day. It's so easy, along with all the other vitamins that you should be taking during pregnancy, one more won't hurt. I actually enjoy taking my vitamins as I know they are helping baby.

Overall I would highly recommend to newly pregnant ladies. Especially if this is your first baby, as to be honest I am still clueless on a few things, and these boxes make you feel like you've got some guidance. It's reassuring for me to know what I can use within my pregnancy and what I should be eating. There's so many articles and people out there telling you not to use this and not to use that. But Project-B focuses on what you can use and should use.

I look forward to writing about my next box.

Dear Diary: Week 21 & 22

Every time I get to another week in my count down, I get really excited. 

However my pregnancy seems to be slowing down now. Not dragging, but definitely slowing down. 

Week 21 was easy, there really isn't much to report. My cravings stayed the same, milk in the morning, fizzy pop in the afternoon. Luke said it's really strange to see me drinking fizzy pop because normally I hate it. 

I started getting really bad headaches, so I went to the doctors to check my blood pressure and it was a little high, nothing to worry about. 

But week 22... 

Well a mix of my paranoia and me actually feeling like death, I rang the Triage Centre in Burnley because my head was pounding, my mood was horrendous, my body temperature felt really high and I thought I hadn't felt movement in just over a day, the midwife told to me go in straight away. I did manage to keep my calm whilst I was leaving work, but as soon as I got into my car and rang my mum I just burst into tears. I just work myself up into a panic. 

I got to the hospital and the first thing they did was check for the baby's heartbeat. They found it straight away, and she was definitely moving, as she kept moving away from the little microphone thing that they use. 

Making sure the baby is okay, is my number one priority. 

I feel more movements now too, which I love, I start tracking her movements and she'll have a routine for a few days, and then she goes all quiet on me for a day or two, which of course I start to worry. I just need to relax and start enjoying my pregnancy. 

I love it when she kicks, I can't wait for another couple of weeks when she will grow double the size that she is now, and then I will be able to feel her so much more. 

In week 22, my fizzy pop craving hasn't been so bad. I still crave milk in the morning though, and lots and lots of biscuits. I really do want sweet food quiet a lot, hope that's normal? My next midwife appointment is in a couple of weeks, I'll ask her then.

My bump is huge now, I really can't do anything. Tying my shoe laces, shaving my legs etc... It's all getting too much. Everyone comments on the size more or less every day. I do love it though. 

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Dear Diary: 11 Things About (my) Pregnancy

Every pregnancy is different, and every person is different. These are 11 things I have realised since finding out I was pregnant. 

1. Your Personality Traits Heighten

I have always been a worrier, a paranoid hypochondriac. Before I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to enjoy pregnancy, having a nice round bump, feeling the baby kick & having that wonderful pregnancy glow... Instead I have gone into worrier overdrive, every little thing makes me jump on the phone to my doctor. Which brings me onto number 2...

2. Google is Both a Blessing and a Curse

Every one of my friends will tell how I literally googled everything, from headaches & tummy aches to more serious problems, and I would convince myself that I was dying, or close to dying, but all it would take it that one positive answer and I would relax (or just go to the doctors). It's the same in pregnancy, you google like little pain and you're convinced something is wrong. On the flip side I have received some very reassuring advice on "netmums" so it's not all dramatic. 

3. Putting on Weight is GOING to Happen

Food has always been my worst enemy, I've struggled to be skinny, and I have forced myself to go hungry. But once you're pregnant everything changes, your insecurities are still there but you realise that if you want a nice healthy baby you have to do what it takes. I'm hungry all the time, and I have put on weight, but I'll eat for my baby, I will make sure I am healthy for her. If I choose not to lose it after the baby is born then that's down to me. I know I will have to work hard, but I know I will do it the right way this time. And with this weight gain, you get used to people noticing.

4. Morning Sickness doesn't Exist

You think that it's a big sign that you're pregnant when you start throwing up your guts in the morning. Nope this is a lie! My sickness happened to be between 5pm and 6pm and I would feel nausea all day long. But it really does get better in the second trimester. 

5. It is Not Easy

Some women are super women, some women are not. I haven't had an easy pregnancy. Some days are better than others, some days I just want to wallow. Any one that makes you feel like you're being over dramatic or like there is actually nothing wrong needs a big fat punch in their face! 

6. People Change

Everyone around you either becomes all about the baby, or they run for the hills. Whether that be family or friends. And you suddenly attract anyone who is pregnant or has a baby, it's like a club. At the moment it seems that everyone is pregnant or has just had a baby, it's definitely baby season. I have noticed that the family who I thought would be there, haven't been, and vice versa. It is true that a baby can mend broken relationships. 

7. You Love your Partner 100x More

People have said to me plenty of times in the past that I will stop loving my husband as much when I fall pregnant. But it's just not true. Luke has given me something so special and so intimate, how could I not love him more? We have created life together, and it's one more thing that we will go through together, this will be for the rest of our lives. What greater bond is there than to make someone so perfect and special with the person that you love. He's been there for everything, every time I worry, he worries. Every time I feel the baby move, he's excited. He's the father of my child. I love him 100x times more. 

8. People Will Touch Your Bump

Even random strangers will congratulate you on being pregnant, they will ask you if it's okay to touch your bump. Your friends will just feel your bump without asking. It doesn't matter to me who you are, you're welcome to feel my bump, it makes me smile, it makes me feel great about myself. It's best when the person touching your bump feels the baby move for the first time, their faces lights up like yours does every time the baby moves. 

9. Midwives are NOT Sympathetic 

Midwives clearly see pregnant women every hour of every day. But I have realised that they don't really sympathise with you. When you're worried or have concerns they kind of make you feel like you're stupid and you shouldn't even be pregnant. Most midwives I have seen during my pregnancy have has the "I can not be bothered being here" attitude, like you're getting in their way. The first midwife I saw at my first midwife appointment, was absolutely lovely, she really reassured me that she thought every thing is going to be okay. I wish they could all be like her...

10. My Doctor is My Life Saver

Because I don't feel comfortable around the midwives, I feel like I can't ask them anything personal. I always go to my doctor. From the moment I found out I was pregnant she has been there for every thing. If I ring up to make an appointment and the receptionist says there is none, my doctor rings me back and squeezes me in. If I've been at the hospital she will ring me to make sure I am okay, and she's just been my rock. I honestly don't know where I would be without her. 

11. You Love Your Baby Before She is Here

I know that to every one else it's just a bump, sometimes I think to myself how can there be a little human in there. But there is. She's my baby, and I love her more than life it self. And I will do ANY thing to keep her safe. Finding out I was pregnant was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Finding out I am having a girl was so precious. 

How has your pregnancy been?

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