Dear Diary: Week 37 & 38 (and nearly 39)

Well I don't really know where to start. It seems like everything that could possibly happen has happened in the last week. 

I had lots of appointments in this week. First the Health Visitor came round to see me at the house. Apparently they like to get the paper work out the way before the baby is here. It felt at first like she was coming to check up on me, like I was being judged about whether or not I would be a good parent and provide for our child. But then she was lovely and just asked routine questions. I was put at ease. She discussed breastfeeding with me and told me that if I ever needed help to ring them and they would come out and help me with it. This really reassured me because it's one of the things I am most worried about. 

Then I had my regular midwife appointment. But she was running late and asked if she could come to the house the next day to go over my birthing plan. 

This was dead easy, there wasn't much I didn't know. And because there was a possibility of being induced she went through the process with me. Terrifying me about it. But I know it's what me and baby need. 

I had a scan the following Tuesday just to make sure baby was growing nicely still and that everything was okay. I was asked if a trainee could do the scan for me, which I didn't mind. Everyone has to learn. She was actually a lot nicer than most experience sonographers, she explained to me what she could see and what she was measuring. It was actually quite interesting. She was also the first person to tell me how much my baby was weighing (estimated of course) 6lb 11oz. This was on Tuesday the 23rd June. 

Both me and Luke weighted that when we was born! 

But at least I know she's not going to be too small or too big. She's healthy! 

I saw a senior doctor at the same time because we've had growth issues and movement issues quite a few times. They gave me a date to be induced. 2nd July at 18:00. But it still felt like so far away. 

I've done nothing but panic throughout this pregnancy I just wanted her here. So I had visual aids to know she was perfectly fine. 

The doctor then offered me a membrane sweep to see if we could get things moving on their own. It was humiliating and so uncomfortable. But they've seen it all before. 

I got really excited and loads of people saying that it started them off. 

I walked up and down my stairs 15 times, I did little star jumps, I bounced on my birthing ball for hours and hours! 

I ate so much pineapple. 

I lost my mucus plug a few days later. Again getting excited. And a few niggley cramps. I thought "yep this is it, I'm having my baby soon"... 

But still no contractions, and no waters! 

I came in hospital on the Saturday because I lost a blood clot, but after all the checks, the midwife told me it was normal and the monitoring showed the baby was fine. They talked about being in slow labour and that the sweep was working and doing it's job. But it still meant waiting until the Thursday to be induced. 

I then had a routine midwife appointment again yesterday (30/06/2015) and she gave me another sweep. This time is was a lot more uncomfortable than the last one. And she told me that my cervix was open and that I was 1cm dilated. She also said "I've just touched your baby's head" I was thinking oh my god my poor child. But after the midwife checked her heart rate again she settled and was fine. 

I went home thinking oh this is great. It might bring labour on naturally and it'll be fine. But then I started to bleed really heavy and really fresh. Which isn't a good sign. 

So I rang the hospital straight away and they told me to come in and be checked. 

I wasn't waiting long and they did all the routine stuff, my blood pressure, my temperature etc... Then they put me on the monitor and the baby was happy in there. She didn't move as much as she normally does when I'm on the monitor.

Then the doctor came and had to do an internal to make sure there was no active bleeds! I thought this doctor was going to kill me. Honestly. She must of just passed or something, because she was honestly clueless. I didn't know whether to be annoyed, scared or feel sorry for her. 

She did the internal and said there was no active bleed but then the nurse next to her looked very concerned and then the doctor said that I started bleeding again and she needed to check my cervix. It hadn't opened anymore. But it really really hurt when she was doing it. 

She told me she had to speak to the senior doctor and would get back to me. 

At this point me and my mum was just like "what the hell just happened" I still don't really understand it now to be honest. 

But the senior doctor came to talk to me and he was lovely. So understanding. He asked me if I was okay staying there now until Thursday (when I'm being induced) because of the bleeding and movements they want to keep an eye on me. 

So he went and left me with the other doctor who was putting the needle in my hand ready for the drips. And she took forever to get what she needed. She just couldn't find what she needed at all. This made me really nervous. And I was starting to get annoyed. I know it's not her fault but I was already worrying and this just didn't help. 

When she finally got everything together she put two thin pieces of paper on my knee, under my hand. 

Then she put the biggest needle in my hand I have ever seen! Oh god did it hurt! I could of cried. Then blood went everywhere!!!! All over the bed, all over my pants, soaked straight through the pieces of paper she put down. 

Again just adding to my annoyance. 

But she did what she had to do and got it all ready before I came down on the ward. 

I'm now on the ward waiting to find out what's happening today and been told that they might try and induce my s day earlier if they have the slot. So fingers crossed!!!

My bump at 38 weeks... 

Dear Diary: 20 things my pregnancy has taught me.

1. Being wide awake at 4am is going to happen. 

2. The legs cramps are like nothing you have experienced before. 

3. Period pains still happen and you will want to cry. 

4. It hurts when you walk. 

5. It hurts when you sit down. 

6. It hurts when you lie down. 

7. They tell you to sleep on your side, but it's not comfy. 

8. You can't sneeze without doing a mini wee. In fact you can't do anything without doing a mini wee. 

9. You will love feeling that baby move. Especially if you have a quiet one like mine. 

10. The closer you get to giving birth the more excited and less scared you get. 

11. Preparing your hospital bags is actually more exciting than packing a holiday suitcase. 

12. The love you have for your stomach seems unreal. 

13. Stretch marks don't bother you has much as you thought they would. 

14. Being nevous about breastfeeding doesn't go away, no matter how many midwives tell you how great it is. 

15. You really do learn who's going to be there for you. 

16. Your own mother becomes your rock. 

17. Your husband still has no idea what's about to happen to his life. 

18. And the thought of being a parent terrifies but excites him. 

19. You get to 37 weeks and you will do anything to try and get that baby out. (Safely of course). 

20. You get a baby at the end of all this. 

Dear Diary: Week 35 & 36

Well I feel quite emotionally drained writing this post. What I would give to say these last two weeks, well especially this last week, has been uneventful. But the truth is it's been awful.

In week 35, everything was going great, I was preparing and getting excited for Indie's arrival. Getting mine and her hospital bags ready and just purely being excited.
I was getting quite impatient also, wishing that she would come early, but at the same time be safe doing so.
My cravings during this week were exactly the same as they have always been (milk in the morning and fizzy pop in the afternoon), except I was getting hungrier quicker, and found myself snacking a lot more during the day. I think this is because I'm at home now and not at work. It's easy to get bored and turn to food as something to do.
I also started going for an afternoon nap, I found that if I didn't go for a nap during the day then I would want to go to bed at 7:30/8pm. But that would mean I wouldn't spend any time with Luke and I would wake up at a ridiculous time in the morning.

Which brings me to this week just gone.
Last Saturday I was in a very bad car accident, which you can read all about in my earlier post: Do I believe in Fate?
Basic summary is a car failed to stop at a give-way and was speeding, my car went straight into the side of him and caused my airbags to go off.
Because I'm only short I have to sit quite closely to my steering wheel, so when my airbag went off it hit my stomach straight on. It cut and bruised me quite badly.

The photo above was taken the day after the accident, whilst I was still in hospital. I was kept in for one night just for observation, mainly because they didn't want me going into labour because of the accident.
Luckily Indie's heartbeat and movements were perfectly fine, and I was reassured that she was unharmed during the crash.
A week later my stomach is looking a lot better...

The bruising is still there and is still very tender to touch. But the cuts have started to heal now and all the red markings have gone.
I had a scan on Tuesday because of static growth reasons, and they said that Indie has grown by 2cm and is finally on track on her growth chart. But because of the accident I still need to be re-scanned in 2 weeks to make sure that hasn't affected anything. They have also mentioned because of the amount of times we have been in because of growth and reduced movements, they will be talking about a date for my to be induced. Which is both excited and nerve wracking.

A few days after the accident now, I'm feeling very tired and stressed. A lot has happened with insurance and personal claims, it's all very overwhelming. But I'm going to let the lawyers take care of all that and concentrate on the fact that Indie will be here soon.

I have now finished packing Indie's hospital bag, and it's just some cleaning clothes left to be packed in mine. So I am officially ready for this little girl to arrive.
I just want her here, with me, so I have visual aids to know that she is perfectly safe and healthy.
I spend hours just getting in tune with my body and watching her move.
She's getting very strong now, and sometimes her movements hurt me or take me by surprise.

But it's just so nice to see her moving like this after everything that has happened. It's my only comfort that she is still happy in there.

I feel like my bump has grown literally over night. I feel huge, and I think people are starting to see how uncomfortable everything has gotten for me. My stretch marks are every where now, but I refuse to let them get me down. I will just have to work hard after birth to try and get rid of them. I suppose they are the marks of something amazing. I shouldn't be ashamed of them.

Here is my bump at 36 weeks...

Dear Diary: Do I Believe in Fate?

I've always been one to say that everything happens for a reason. But I honestly can't put a reason on this one.

On Saturday night I was in a car accident. The first car accident of my entire life, and I was driving!

I'd like to say that is was a little bump with another car, but it wasn't. It was a full on, head on, airbag kind of crash.
I want to say I'm lucky I wasn't on my own, which in a sense I suppose I am, but that's not to say I feel lucky that my sister was with me in the passenger seat. I just mean that if she wasn't there I don't know how the night would of gone. She reacted so fast, and me so slow (after the crash). And this scares me.

I was driving home from doing our bi weekly shopping, and I turned onto our neighbourhood, I was just driving, literally 20 seconds away from my house, not thinking that this was going to happen. I must of been going about 15mph. When a blue car failed to give way on a side street, he looked like he was doing 50mph but in reality he was actually doing 25/30mph. He didn't even attempt to stop.
I don't really remember much of the crash in all honesty. I remember my sister gasping, seeing a blur of blue (the colour of the other car), but he had passed me, yet I knew I had hit him, I had already slammed on my brake, but it happened so fast.
I just remember seeing my airbag and smoke and by the time I had realised this, Abbie was around my car opening the door and I just panicked. My stomach was on fire, and so tight. I needed to make sure my baby was okay.

We had some really amazing help from our neighbours, who got me a chair and did all the ringing for an ambulance and police. Abbie ran around the corner to get Luke from the house. I can only imagine the panic in both of them. Luke says Abbie nearly smashed the door in and he had no idea, I guess everything goes into slow motion when you hear your heavily pregnant wife has just had a car crash. Abbie threw up there and then, I guess; the fear, the panic and the adrenalin was just to much.

I was sat waiting for the ambulance to come, begging they would be fast, because I just wanted to know my baby was okay. She started wriggling around as I was sat waiting, but my stomach was hurting so much. Not pain inside, outside, like someone had set it on fire. As I was waiting and everyone was making a fuss, I finally started to look around...
I saw my car!

 

I just couldn't believe that was my car, and that I had just crashed into another car.
I looked around for the other car, it was half way down the street it was aiming for, but had completely spun around, I saw that there was a massive dint from my car, along the backside of the passenger side. No were near the same amount of damage as my car.

I saw a man that looked like me might of been driving, his eyes were all red and he looked very distressed, he was about 25 years old. Then I was told he was the passenger and that the side airbag went off and hit his face and caught his eye. It was his dad, about 50 years old, that had been driving. Someone got all his details for me. But as we was waiting for the ambulance and police, he had approached me. He apologised and I could see how bad he felt.
I personally think that he's done that junction a few times and never had an accident, but now he's done it and caused this, with a pregnant lady I think guilt kicked in straight away for him.
I just sat there and looked at him, I couldn't say "it's okay" because it wasn't. I told him that I need to make sure my baby is okay!

Then the ambulance showed up and I was put into the back straight away. They did all the checks and said I needed to go to hospital but they didn't think my baby was in immediate danger.
She was still wriggling around...
I told the medics that my stomach was on fire at the top and it was so sore. They lifted my top and I just went into hyper-venting mode...

Them cuts and marks were all new, all I wanted to know was what damage this had caused for Indie, and was she safe. 

Eventually we set off to the hospital, with sirens and lights. It was scary... And it was on the way to the hospital then I just grabbed Luke's hand and burst out crying. This was the first time I had cried since it happened. It just hit me. I had been in a car crash, I had been in a crash with my sister, I had been in a crash whilst I'm pregnant, I was driving!

We got to the hospital at exactly 8pm. 

I calmed down when we got to the hospital and I was taken to the ward on a stretcher. The midwives took over straight away. 

First thing they did was check for the heartbeat using the handheld microphone thing. She found it straight away. I couldn't control myself, I was in floods of tears, and looked over to Luke who had also broke down. The relief that her heart was still beating, this was such a good sign. 

Whilst we was waiting to go onto the monitor, the police man turned up to talk to me. 

He told me the other driver had admitted to all fault, and he had given the correct statement. He told the police exactly what had happened. 

The police told me that he was being charged for a careless driving offence, which means 6 points on his license and he has to go on a course. Because he failed to stop at a give-way. 

At this point I wasn't bothered about all that, I was relieved that it wasn't a battle, it was black and white, his fault. But at the same time I wanted to know how he was, and his son. 

The police told me that they weren't taken to hospital, just treated at the scene and sent home. He told me not to worry about insurance, he had got all the details and wrote them down for me. He said to ring when I can and they will sort everything out for me. 

Before he went he told me the other driver wanted to know if I was okay with the police man letting him know how I got on. 

So he (the police man) set up a password with the hospital to get access to my details. 

I was then moved to another room where they put me on the monitor for an hour and 45 minutes. 

Her heart was strong and she was wriggling around. She was letting me know she was okay! She went quiet (movement wise) for about 20 minutes, so I had to stay on a bit longer, but the midwives said it was normal, it's just they don't move as much when they are sleeping. 

But everything was so reassuring. 

At this point my mum, her husband and my sister came up. They had been taken to A&E to check over my sister. She was looking so pale, scared and tired. She had sprained her neck, shoulder and left arm. So she was in pain with that. 

I just felt in that moment that we both were very lucky, grateful for our seat belts and just lucky it wasn't a few second later... 

I know you shouldn't think like that, but if I was a second later, he would of crashed into the side of me. And he would of caused a lot more damage to me and the baby.

A doctor came and saw me about 1am, and told me I had to stay over night for observation. It was around 2am that I got a bed. I didn't have any over night stuff, so I had to sleep in my t-shirt and underwear, so uncomfortable. 

Saying bye to Luke and everyone was hard, I know how worried everyone was. 

But we had been told all signs are looking great, babies movements are strong, her heartbeat healthy and that staying in was just routine. 

I managed to get 2 hours sleep at the most. And that morning about 10am I was put on the monitor again. 

And she was perfect. He heart beating as strong as it is was the best sound ever. The doctor came and examined me to make sure I wasn't going into labour, thank god I wasn't. But she said I need to be scanned to make sure everything was okay. So I have an appointment on Tuesday morning for that. 

She told me they are probably going to get me to about 38 weeks and induce me. She told me this wasn't anything to do with the crash, it was for the static growth reasons. 

I was sent home on bed rest. 

All I keep thinking is "what if" and it's such a bad way to think. 

Both me and my sister can't believe we was in a car accident and that we aren't seriously hurt. 

Maybe it happened to tell me to stop panicking so much about the baby, and if she can survive something like this, then she can survive my every day life. 

Maybe it just happened because that's life and shit happens. I don't know. 

Is it fate? Or just life? 

Right now all that matters is that every one involved is not seriously hurt.

Dear Diary: Week 33 & 34

Wow, a lot has happened in this last couple of weeks...

Week 33...
I finished work this week, which in all honesty felt absolutely amazing! Pressing that log out button on my phone was just pure heaven.
At the same time over the last few months I have gotten really attached to the girls on my team, and I'm quite sad that I won't see them as much.
My team gave me the best send off, I came into work on my last day, to my desk full of balloons and banners.

All thanks to my Team Leader! What a legend.

All my team brought in food and presents for Indie, it was just a really nice special day. I thought I would get more emotional than I did but I kept myself together quite well. It was only on the car ride home, on my own, that I got a bit tearful. Again not about leaving work more about the people. Everyone from the department had signed a card for me, I love reading through it. Thanks guys!

Week 34...

My first week off work started off not so good. I was worried about Indie's movements, she had moved just not as much, so I rang the Triage and they told me to go in straight away. So at half 10 at night me and Luke went into hospital, the midwife there took my measurements and then told me that I would have to be scanned, I was put on the monitor for 45 minutes, were I heard Indie's heart beating nice and strong. A doctor then came and told me that the reason they want to scan me is because of growth issues again and that if I was further along they would be looking at inducing me, but at nearly 34 weeks, they want to do more test. 

So the next morning I head to the hospital, on my own, to be put on the monitor again for half an hour. But I'm not complaining, because listening to Indie's heart beating is the best noise I could ever listen too...

I could listen to this all day everyday. Then I went down for my scan, and waited for the results, I was told by the midwife that I need re-scanning next week just to double check that she's growing or not growing, and then I would have to speak to a senior doctor to create a plan.

Which is really scary because I don't know what to expect. Some part of me wants her to come now, but that's just me being impatient. I just want her to be safe! 

I have now packed Indie's hospital bag, so at least if she does come early I know she is prepared. 

We also went shopping for my hospital bag stuff today, so as soon as that is packed I am ready. 

It's crazy that if everything is okay with the scans then I still have 6 weeks to go. Seems like forever away. But in a couple of days I will be able to officially say "I'm having my baby next month" which makes it feel a little bit closer. 

I decided to have my younger brother and sister over for a couple of days, one it gave them something to do during the school holidays, two it gave me something to do and three it helped take my mind off the hospital and whats going to happen. 

It was lovely having them over, I feel like I barely get to see them with me living so far away. 

The first day they were here, we took Elijah out for a walk and spent the afternoon making daisy and buttercup chains.

And the second day we decided to bake (sort of). We made white and milk chocolate rice crispy cakes, and I bought on of those ready made kits. It's was really fun and gave us all something to do. 

It tired me out though, I dropped them off back at my mums, came home and had a 3 hour nap. 

These last two weeks have been very tiring, I just want to sleep all the time. Nap time is my favourite time. 

My cravings are the same, milk in the morning and fizzy pop in the evening. And my appetite is forever there, there is no stopping the amount of food I want to eat. 

My legs are getting really bad for cramps, that's why I've been trying to get out a lot with Elijah, for some leg exercise, which really does help. I'm going to be looking into Aqua Natal as well now that I'm off work. 

We have bought everything Indie needs now, so it's all just a waiting game. 

Here's my tiger stripes this week...

Dear Diary: Week 31 & 32

Well this is going to be a short one really.

As far as my pregnancy goes, everything has been plain sailing over the last two weeks. Not much as changed, other than my bump growing and growing and growing.
I'm starting to waddle when I walk, which many people are enjoying laughing at me for.

I've always been a bit of a picky eater, but since getting pregnant I have really gained an appetite. It the strangest of ways. I used to hate red meat, I would eat it if I had too, but my body is clearly craving it. There has been a few times at a restaurant were I have ordered a steak or a beef burger, but it's just not me. It's strange.
I was trying to explain what a craving during pregnancy feels like to a friend the other day. I honestly feel like it's completely different from just fancying a bar or chocolate or a beer or something. For me it's like I need to have what I'm craving, and I can't shift that feeling until I have it.
For instance I crave milk in the morning, and I have to have it... The other morning there wasn't any, and I could of cried, I didn't want to leave the house all day but I had to, my car was flashing because I needed petrol, but it was enough to get me to the local Asda and back for milk, I felt like I couldn't survive without it.

I finish work next week, I can't tell you how much I need to finish. The stress of the job is just getting to much, the atmosphere is not very nice, and because of my hormones I just feel really really down when I am there. That and the fact I am sitting at a desk all day on a computer chair is just so painful, I literally wince when I get up off my chair.
I'm looking forward to my nesting period. I have decided that I will clean one room at time, that way I know I am doing a thorough job, starting from the upstairs. People already joke that I have OCD, but I'm actually really looking forward to it.

I've been slowly getting Indie's nursery together, I love just walking in there and staring at her stuff, going through her clothes all the time, or re folding blankets and towels. I'm not 100% sure what I want for her bedding, or her theme, but I think it's coming on nicely.

Putting them shelves up was a task and a half. Because they are so solid, we had to put them up with a drill, and neither me or Luke are DIY people. It took 4 attempts, but we did it. There is 6 different holes under them shelves. Glad no one can see them. All of them drawers are full to the brim, and her cot is full of clothes waiting to go into her wardrobe. I love white furniture, and the pine on the drawers and shelves really work for a nursery. I just love how everything is coming together. Her cot was a gift off my mum and the shelves off a friend, I love the amount of help that we're getting. We're so grateful.

We have got most of Indie's things now, there are a few bits and bobs we need to get. We got her pram the other day, which was off Luke's dad and Step-mum. We went with the iCandy Peach Jogger in Glazier. I love it. It's currently in my hallway, which gives me every opportunity to push it around my living room. I asked Luke if I could push it outside and he said no! ha.

I had done a lot of research into prams, because originally I wanted the Silver Cross Surf. But after doing my research The Silver Cross reviews were saying that they aren't very good for an older baby/toddler, and that they are quite small. But a lot of the reviews about the iCandy were great, the adapted push chair will fit a 3 year old in comfortably. I know a 3 year old will probably be walking or in a buggy, but at least I know it will last us. We just need a maxicosy car seat to fit onto the adapters.
The changing bag goes perfectly with my pram, I love it. It's so big and has the most pockets you can possibly imagine could fit onto/into a bag. This was a gift off another friend of mine. I love Babymoov - everything just looks decent, and they have great reviews on most of their products.


My bump is getting very big now, and people joke that I might be having twins, or that I am going to give birth to an 11 pounder!!
I am getting uncomfortable now, I just wish I was full term then I would know I don't have long left to go. These next 8 weeks is going to be the longest 8 weeks of my life. I've never been patient. I am starting to enjoy her movements a lot more now. She's getting stronger and watching my stomach move it amazing...

31 week movements

32 week movements

I love watching them videos. Every night around 9pm is when she really starts to wriggle. I can sit for hours watching her, if she would move for hours, but she has about half an hour and then she stops. Every time I shout to Luke or anyone to watch, she stops. Or even when I get the camera out to video her, she stops. Sods law. She's not much of a kicker and she isn't very active, but I'm not as worried as I was because I think that is just her natural movements.  

My stretchmarks are appearing more (I would say getting worse, but I guess they are something to be proud of), all down the sides of my thighs and all over my "love handles". I feel like my legs look huge, but they are very swollen and my feet are starting to swell up during the day when I'm out and about. Hopefully all these things disappear or fade after birth.

Here are my tiger stripes this week...

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Dear Diary: Week 29 & 30

Wow, it's been a busy two weeks...

First I will start with my baby shower. This was something I knew I wanted to have even before I was pregnant. I know it is a typically American thing, but I've been to a couple now and they are just so much fun without everyone getting wasted or just standing around at a normal house party.
I got myself into a bit of a funk about getting everything for the shower like food, cake etc... But we did in the end.
I had a lot of help from some very special people, who I couldn't of done it without, and it wouldn't of happened without them. I think I kept my calm with the preparations though, I have to be involved, but I was quite calm and collected which I am not known for.
I wanted a few family members to come first so I got to have a bit of quiet time with them, as I don't see my family often, and I don't think I have seen some whilst I have been pregnant, so it was nice to see the family members who came, and speak to them about the baby and everything that is going to happen.
Then I had my friends come round, I was really nervous about people showing up, but I have a great group of friends, who I shouldn't doubt. My living room has never seen so many people. A few of my friends brought their babies round to, so I got to be all broody and have some cuddles.
It was really nice to see so many of my "girl friends" together, and with day to day life, work and what not, it's not always easy to see everyone, so getting everyone together was a lot of fun.
We played silly games relating to a baby in some way. Baby bingo, guess the nursery rhyme, baby charades, and pass the dummy (which was by far the funniest).
Indie got so many gifts of everyone, she was clearly very spoilt. Lot's of blankets, towels, toys and clothes. And a very special keepsake box. Luke was happy because the clothes she got weren't pink ha!
Very lucky, and I really appreciate all the gifts off everyone!
Thank you notes are on their way I promise!

 What was your baby shower like?

The day after the baby shower, my friend who brought her baby with her, told me her son had come out in chicken pox, and I should get tested. She felt awful, like she had done something, but stuff like this can not be helped. But I rang the Triage just for some advise, they told me I need to be tested for immunity. So they sent of some blood samples, and it took forever to come back, but luckily I'm immune to chicken pox. My mum had told me I've had them twice as a child. Lucky as it can be quite dangerous during pregnancy, from what I have read up on anyway! (should stay away from google)

Everything was going great, well as great as back ache, leg cramps and the non existent ability to tie your shoe laces could go. But there was no other concerns really. Indie was kicking more, and I could actually feel everything from her turning, to stretching, I even felt her have the hiccups. All these movements are so reassuring, and I always wake up about 6 every morning and lie there feeling everything, it makes my day, knowing she's okay in there... 

Then I had my booking appointment at the hospital to get officially registered over in Manchester, that went fine, but I mentioned that I was getting quite short of breath, especially at night and having heart palpitations, she took more blood and said it's probably to do with low iron issues. 

The following week (so this Tuesday just gone) I had my GTT diabetes test, again at the hospital, so I had the first bit of the test and the nurse told me to go back in two hours. I had a midwife appointment booked, which I was going to cancel, but thought I may as well go as I'd like to hear the baby's heartbeat again, and ask a few questions. 

So I went and it was a fill in midwife as mine was on some training day. She listened to the baby's heartbeat which was nice and strong. And then she measured my bump. She plotted it on my chart, but the last time on that chart I was 26 weeks, and she told me that it looked like my baby wasn't growing properly. Then I mentioned the breathlessness and she rang the hospital, asked for my blood results and told me that my iron was fine, then she told the hospital about the growth of the baby, and said I had to go into the day care unit. 

So I went back to the hospital, finished my GTT test and the nurse then took me down to the day care unit (this nurse was the rudest lady ever, in my panicked mode she was not compassionate at all). They put me on the monitor for the baby's heartbeat and told me to press a button every time the baby moves. Which I did. I kept asking them about the growth and they just kept dodging my questions. The midwife there took another measurement and said she was going to investigate. I was on the monitor for hours, and I was on my own. Then the rude nurse came in and said "Gemma your scan is going to be after lunch, here's some dinner" she more or less threw a brown bag at me and walked off. I didn't even know I was going for a scan! So I'm panicking more thinking all sorts, knowing that they don't send everyone for scans. Luke came rushing out of work to be with me. 

The scan showed that everything was fine, the water around baby was normal, the blood rushing threw the placenta was normal, baby was on the small side but not dangerously so, and she was healthy. 

So when I went back into the clinic, a midwife was like "right you can go now" literally no answers?! So I asked, why has all this happened, I was told my baby isn't growing properly and I've been in hospital all day? To then be told, the fill in midwife had made a mistake, and my measurements shouldn't of been taken, and I should also of never been measured at 26 weeks! Obviously I was relieved that Indie was healthy and I didn't need to worry about her, but wow, I was in proper panic mode thinking they were going to have to bring her early, and that I wasn't prepared for her yet. 

Both me and Luke came out of that hospital in a right mess of emotions, angry, happy, relieved, confused? 

All I am grateful for is getting to see Indie again and knowing she's healthy and okay. 

She's done nothing but wriggle since!

My pregnancy these last two weeks:

Not much has changed, other than movements getting stronger, Luke had his hand on my stomach the other morning, and it felt like she was stretching. It freaked him out a little, but I loved it! 

My cravings are exactly the same, milk in the morning (and lots of it), fizzy pop in the afternoon. I've also been needing a bit of chocolate during the day, otherwise I just seem to crash. 

I've been waking up every morning between half past five and six, no matter what time I go to bed. This is really frustrating. Half way through the day I get very very tired and need to nap, and then I'm back in bed for 9. My body is very tired. 

My bump suddenly feels ginormous, and my stretch marks are getting quite bad now. They're mainly on the sides of my body and down the top of my thighs, which is where I carry a lot of my weight. 

I know I'm going to struggle to lose the weight on the legs, but I will. It's on the list of to dos, but it's not my priority. 

I'm starting to enjoy pregnancy a bit more lately. 

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