I remember the moment I first really felt overwhelmed and like a needed to have a baby with him. I had just finished watching About Time for probably the 3rd or 4th time. Luke was out with his friends at the pub and I put the film on again and it just made me feel like we can do anything. Like there is no perfect time to get married or have children.
So I messaged him asking him, but I don't think he took me seriously until the next day when I asked properly.
I think how serious I actually was about it, freaked him out more.
When we had both calmed down a bit we finally discussed when would be best for both of us and we had to compromise. After all isn't that what marriage is about?
This was sometime just after the New Year and we agreed to start trying for a baby in October, but it came with a rule. Providing we had shown that we was making financial progress. Which I thought seemed fair so I went a long with that.
The months kept passing and I would mention having a baby all the time. It became so important to me. Finally in August we were showing signs of getting ourselves sorted and I asked again and Luke said yes!! Best day ever!
I think it still scares him that he said yes. But he's been great. At first he took a very relaxed approach to it and he had the attitude "what ever happens, happens" but in normal "Gemma" fashion I did not take that approach.
When I finally fell pregnant I think something clicked in Lukes brain and he's been in dad mode ever since.
First off he went and bought me some flowers and a big teddy. But he also bought two Dr.Suess books for the baby so he could read to her (we didn't know she was a girl at this point) I was only 5 weeks pregnant and only just found out. But he had to have these books. He also bought children's DVDs for our when out baby is here. It was really sweet actually.
It made me relax more about his doubts, I knew it was a massive thing for him, and probably deep down he might not of felt 100% ready.
But since then he's really sprung into action.
He's been to every appointment except one. His face when we first had our 12 week scan was pure amazement. He fell just as hard for our baby as I did.
The love on his face when we went for our gender scan made me realise that he will love no one more than our little girl.
He first heard her heartbeat properly in my last midwife appointment, I could see how happy he was that she is nice and healthy. And then the worry on his face when he realised he was going to have to protect our little girl and be a dad.
He panics all the time about how to be a good parent. He tells me all the time that it worried him that parenting only goes so far and then it's down to her peers.
He's constantly saying that we need to find the BEST schools for her with the best kids in it.
It's got to be a big worry for every parent. But it might be a backwards way of thinking but I think it's so sweet that he's feeling like this. Feeling so strongly about being the best dad he could ever be.
I have 100% confidence that he will be.
Sometimes I lay and wonder how we will work as a team. Luke's very laid back normally and very calm in most respects. I'm not. I'm very controlled and organised and I let things wear me down.
But thinking back on all the big things to ever to happen to me and Luke, we have gotten through it together. We work so well together. He calms me down and I help organise him. And I think it's so true when you hear "opposites attract". It makes life interesting.
Luke has never held a baby, he's never been around them so this is all brand new to him. I've told him to practise by holding a friend's baby. But he's now decided that the first baby he will hold is our own. This made my heart melt. It's such a big thing for him and I know how much it means to him.
He asked questions that I sometimes feel are self explanatory because I forget about him never being around babies or children. I was 16 when my little brother was born, I was very hands on with him, I know how to change nappies and prepare bottles. But for Luke he's never seen a dirty nappy or a bottle, so of course he's asking them questions. It must be terrifying.
But after everything we have been through together I know that he will rise to the challenge and he will be the best dad that any child could imagine having.
Our little girl is lucky to have Luke as a father.
Aww amazing how things can click in these men - sounds like you will have a wonderful little family.
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