Dear Diary: Week 19 & 20

I can finally write this post. After moving we haven't had internet, and although I could write this on my phone through the app, it's not the same and I wanted to wait until we had wifi.

Week 19 and 20 have been very busy.
First with the house move, which went amazingly well, this was in week 19. But my pregnancy that week was very difficult, I started to feel really poorly whilst I was at work. It kind of felt like I was hungover, I was really tired, feeling weak and queasy and my head was pounding. I had to go home, when I got home I just slept the whole afternoon. It was the same the day after, I needed to sleep a lot. So on Monday I went to the doctors and had my bloods taken, whilst I was there she checked my blood pressure and my sugar levels, which both were on the low side. She told me to rest and take it easy. I have been really good for not taking paracetamol for anything during my pregnancy but I had to take paracetamol for my head aches. A couple days went by, and I just put my feet up, and my blood results came back and my iron levels were very very low, which is odd because I have been on iron tablets since I found out I was pregnant. So I've had to double up doses, but this has made me feel a bit groggy.
By the weekend I started to feel a little better, and that's when the house move started. Luckily for me it was easy, because I couldn't actually help with the lifting and moving, so I was appointed 'brew maker' for the day, was fine with me.
It's been a bit emotional moving back into our own place. The day after my mum came down to help build furniture, and the first thing she built was the baby's cot. I love it, and I am now always walking in her room, we just need to get her wardrobe and drawers and then I can really start planning.

Week 20 had it's own excitement... One, we named our child. Two, we got to see our little girl again.

Firstly the name: This has been something that me and Luke have spoke about for what feels like since we met when we was twelve, infact I remember having a silly conversation when we was younger saying that we would one day have 12 kids and they all had funny names. But on a serious note, since we started talking about having a baby we started talking baby names. We got our boys name sorted but we could never ever agree on a girls name. So when we found out we are having a girl we had to really think about it, we just would not agree for ages.
Luke just mentioned a name one day that he liked and I just out it down on the list not really getting excited about it, then we decided to name her one thing, but I could tell we both had just settled on it because it was getting tough. Then Luke mentioned this name again, and it just sort of felt right, it was lovely all of a sudden and now I love it.
Her name is...

Indie Autumn Barnett

Her middle name has meaning behind it also. Everything happens in Autumn for us, Luke proposed to me in Autumn, we got married in Autumn, and I found out I was having our baby in Autumn (not that she'll know that last bit until she's old enough). 

I really love her name, and everyone that knows seems to like it, I know you shouldn't care about what people think, but I do want people to like it and understand it. I also wanted a name that couldn't be shortened down, I don't like nick-names. 

The scan: 

My scan was on a Friday and waiting the whole week was torture. I could feel her moving around at nights so I was feeling confident that she was okay, but there was always doubt in my mind. I was working that morning, and could not wait to finish and get to that hospital. I didn't want to make the same mistake and go with a very very full bladder this time. So I didn't drink as much and I felt okay, I knew that this scan would take longer because it was all health checks. The woman was lovely and as soon as she put the scanner onto my stomach she said straight away that she could see her heart beat and the baby. I could then enjoy seeing my beautiful little girl on the screen. I also asked if she could double check the gender, just to be on the safe side. She did all the health checks and we got to see her fingers and her toes, it was amazing seeing her feet so clear and her hands. She kept moving her arms and legs everywhere. I got to see her looking towards us, it was just amazing. But she was also being a little wriggler and wouldn't let the woman get what she needed straight away so I had to move around to get the baby to move in the right position. She got everything she needed and said all the health checks were perfectly fine and everything looks normal, THANK GOD! 

She also double checked the scan and she said "yep definitely a girl" another THANK GOD! She already had everything pink! 

My symptoms are slowing down now, I don't get much sickness. But everything is growing, and when I say everything I mean everything. There is no denying I am pregnant now. People are asking me straight away, without doubting themselves. I like having a bump though, everyone wants to touch it. Which again I like, any moment I get to talk about being pregnant, or having a baby, I will talk about it. 

I still crave milk a lot in the morning and frizzy pop in the night. 

Her movements are amazing now, she kicks quite hard sometimes, not so it's uncomfortable, but it's noticeable. Luke felt his first proper kick 3 nights ago, he was so happy, seeing his face light up is jus amazing, he can now feel apart of it. We started talking to the bump a bit, but we both still feel kind of silly doing so.  

She kicks mainly at 3/4 in the morning, which wakes me up. It's bittersweet, because I'm awake at 4 in the morning which tires me out for the rest of the day, but I get to feel my baby move. 

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Dear Diary: We're Moving...

It's been a long time coming, but we're finally getting back on track.

I would say I regret ever moving out of my own place, but it was a choice that we made together to help ourselves at the time.
Has it been hard, yes of course it has. I've been independent for as long as I can remember, and going somewhere that makes it difficult to be yourself can be suffocating.
But was it worth it? Yes, it got us back on our feet financially, don't get me wrong we're not sorted, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Moving in with parents might be easy for some people, it just wasn't for us. We will always be grateful for the help of course.

But we finally found a house! After weeks and weeks and weeks of searching and getting stressed out and getting tired and feeling like nothing was going to work out for us, we have finally found a house. It's back to where our home is, Manchester.
When we started talking about moving back to our own place, none of thought twice about the location, it was always going to be back to Manchester. It's where me and Luke got our first home together, it's where we made friends for life.
For my sister, who will also be living with us, her entire life is in Manchester, her friends, her job, her heart.
But if I really thought about where I was moving to, and what I was leaving behind. My mum would be my main reason to stay, but I know she wouldn't want that for us, she knows we wouldn't be happy here. With the baby on the way though, I think I'm going to find it difficult to be so far away from her. I know it's only a car ride away, but every girl needs there mum sometimes.

I wanted somewhere I was familiar with, so Swinton was the main area of concentration. I loved the house we used to live in there, but it was only two bedrooms, and with a baby on the way, it was just impractical to move into a two bedroom home.
The house that we are moving into will be perfect for our little family, and I can not wait to get in and start nesting. Getting my nursery together, setting up my little girls room is something I think about all the time.

All I want to say is thank you to everyone that has helped us with this. Everyone who understands what it is like. Everyone who wants us back on our feet and stable. We appreciate everyone and every last bit of help.

Dear Diary: Week 17 & 18

Wow these last couple of weeks have been crazy. Mainly because we have been searching high and low for our own place, and thank god, I think we have found one. The application is in and now it's just a waiting game, it looks great though. Back to Manchester for us.
It's exactly what we need as a family, with the baby on the way, we need to get prepared. May my nesting period start!

As for my pregnancy, I'm starting to feel a lot better in myself, I am starting to "feel pregnant" again. Which is reassuring. I'm now starting to feel movements, I try to track them but it's a bit difficult as they aren't kicks as such, they are just little pops and flutters. Although today the pops seem a lot harder, I'm getting really excited!
My midwife told me this is completely normal, and I shouldn't feel proper kicks until around 20 weeks as this is my first child. I can't wait for that day.
I'm constantly stroking my bump waiting to feel her kick, I know that later on in my pregnancy that I'll be begging for her to get her foot out of my ribs, but right now I'm begging for her to kick my as hard has she can so I know she's okay in there.

I had my second midwife appointment this week, which went well, I think. No room for concern.
She told me that my bump was the right size for how far along I am. Then we said that she wanted to listen to the babies heart beat. I was over the moon when I heard that beautiful noise, beating so fast. The midwife was very pleased with the rate the baby's heart was beating. I couldn't stop smiling.

My craving these last couple of weeks have been milk (I don't think this one is going anywhere any time soon), and salt! I know it's really unhealthy, but I'm just craving loads of salt on everything. I've decided to cut it out for a while, I mean more just not adding extra salt onto my food.
Symptoms these last couple of weeks have just been cravings and tiredness, I don't know why I feel so lethargic all the time, I'm getting plenty of sleep at night and I'm taking my iron tablets every night.
I think it's the stress of my job, along with the stress of finding a house. Hopefully once we're out of peaks and we've actually moved I'll start feeling a lot better.

What we have bought (or had bought for us) already. My mum has bought us the baby's cot, moses basket and car seat, and lots of little bits and bobs. Baby has her first tog bag, I'm already in love with her stuff, I pull everything out just to stare at it, I can't believe we're having a baby!!
I can't seem to make my mind up on a pram, but Luke's dad and step-mum are buying us that.
My sister keeps buying clothes, at this rate I'm not going to need to buy anything myself!
I keep reading up on what baby needs and whats best to get, there's so much stuff to think about!
I can't wait to set up her nursery in our new home!
We have decided her nursery furniture is going to be white and a dusty plum colour.

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