Dear Diary: Week 27 & 28

Week 27 and 28 have gone so fast.

In week 27 I had an appointment with my new midwife in Swinton. It went well and she answered all my questions. I took a list with me so I wouldn't forget what to ask.
She told me that I have to go for a whole new booking appointment as they don't do things the same in Manchester as they do in Blackburn/Burnley.
She looked at my medical book like it was alien, it was strange, I would of thought that the whole country would use the same books.
I'm looking forward to getting everything settled over here.

Not much as changed in my pregnancy though, baby seems to move the same, some days she is really active and some days she's quiet. The quiet days make me nervous, but I'm trying not to get worked up every time she has a quiet day.
It's impossible for me to keep an eye on movements the way the midwives tell you too. You're meant to know the baby's pattern, but there is absolutely no way I could do this.
Is this normal? Surely every baby is different, maybe mine is just a rebel.

Work is getting hard now, just the stress and pressure of it. The busy days are tiring, but the quiet days are worse. I can't win.
Sitting at my desk on a desk chair all day, it's becoming so painful. All the pressure on my back and bum is horrendous, some days I want to cry with the pain. There is nothing they can do though, I have to sit at a desk and they only have desk chairs.
I only have May left at work and then I am on Maternity Leave. It can't come quick enough!

My cravings are slowing down a lot more. I still enjoy a glass of milk and a bottle on pop (not at the same time) but I don't feel like I need it anymore. I do feel like I need chocolate during the day, not a lot, but at least a bar... It picks me back up especially in work.

My stretch marks are becoming more and more defined. Mainly on my sides, not on the front though, I wonder when that will happen, which I know will happen.

Dear Diary: Week 25 & 26

Not much has changed in my pregnancy in these last couple of weeks. 

My baby is definitely getting stronger though. I can now feel and see her kicks a lot more and they feel so much more powerful. I really enjoy sitting and watching my stomach move, and I love making everyone else watch it too!

I had my midwife appointment last week, and she asked about movements then, but at this point I was only really feeling the movements at night, when I was led down in bed or in the bath, but never really during the day. Which she said was normal and it could just be my baby's pattern, or it could be because I'm always busy during the day. 

Then when the midwife said she was going to listen in and she put the microphone thing onto my stomach, straight away the baby kicked. Safe to stay she was moving during the day. 

From what feels like that day I have felt her a lot more even during the day. It's amazing I can now know she's okay and healthy all the time. 

I had a bit of a paranoid moment over the weekend. Because I had felt her moving a lot over the last week then from Friday through to Sunday morning I hadn't really felt her move much. I was feeling little movements but nothing too much. So I just rang the Triage at Burnley just to get some advise and see if the decrease in movement was normal. They said no and that I had t go in to get checked. 

 So I went in and explained I had actually felt a bit of movement so I knew she was okay in that sense but I just needed to know if her not moving the same was normal. So they put me on the monitor and because of all the pressure the midwife was putting on my stomach I could feel the baby squirming away from her. The midwife was laughing at her. Safe to say she was okay. The reason I couldn't feel the baby as much is because of the position she was led in. 

I'm just so happy knowing that the baby is okay. 

That's my last time I will have any sort of appointment in Blackburn/Burnley. 

Me and Luke have moved back to Manchester, but at this point in my pregnancy I had to swap everything over to a Manchester midwife and book into a hospital over here. I was really upset because I couldn't do this without leaving my doctor and registering over here. It makes sense to have a doctor over here, but I love my doctor. She's been amazing with me throughout my entire pregnancy, so it was really upsetting leaving her. 

I have a midwife appointment booked in again to get everything transferred over. 

And after doing my research I think I want to have my baby in St. Mary's hospital. I have the choice for a birthing unit, but my paranoid self says I may as well have my baby in a hospital where if anything does happen then I'm already there. 

After my last post about breast feeding I have had a lot of people come forward and tell me their experiences and it's been a great help. I didn't think that it was as common as it actually is. And getting so many peoples stories has really help boost my confidence. I know that deep down if I don't try I will regret it. I have always said that I want to breastfeed and I'm just scared, but I know I will get a lot of support. 

Cravings are all the same. I'm finding out that I want more and more fizzy pop all the time and fruit. 

My bump is definitely getting big now, and I'm starting to get my first stretch marks. I knew that being this big so early on only means stretch marks. I'm not upset by them like I thought I would be. I guess it's just apart of pregnancy. Some women are lucky and don't get them, unfortunately I'm not one of them, but I've dealt with putting on weight, it's sometimes difficult when I really want to wear something and I just feel like a whale, but I know it's all going to be worth it in the end. 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Dear Diary: 4am Soppy Post

When I first mentioned babies to my husband Luke, I swear he turned grey, there might of been a Luke shaped hole in the door. 

I remember the moment I first really felt overwhelmed and like a needed to have a baby with him. I had just finished watching About Time for probably the 3rd or 4th time. Luke was out with his friends at the pub and I put the film on again and it just made me feel like we can do anything. Like there is no perfect time to get married or have children. 

So I messaged him asking him, but I don't think he took me seriously until the next day when I asked properly. 

I think how serious I actually was about it, freaked him out more. 

When we had both calmed down a bit we finally discussed when would be best for both of us and we had to compromise. After all isn't that what marriage is about? 

This was sometime just after the New Year and we agreed to start trying for a baby in October, but it came with a rule. Providing we had shown that we was making financial progress. Which I thought seemed fair so I went a long with that. 

The months kept passing and I would mention having a baby all the time. It became so important to me. Finally in August we were showing signs of getting ourselves sorted and I asked again and Luke said yes!! Best day ever! 

I think it still scares him that he said yes. But he's been great. At first he took a very relaxed approach to it and he had the attitude "what ever happens, happens" but in normal "Gemma" fashion I did not take that approach. 

When I finally fell pregnant I think something clicked in Lukes brain and he's been in dad mode ever since. 

First off he went and bought me some flowers and a big teddy. But he also bought two Dr.Suess books for the baby so he could read to her (we didn't know she was a girl at this point) I was only 5 weeks pregnant and only just found out. But he had to have these books. He also bought children's DVDs for our when out baby is here. It was really sweet actually. 

It made me relax more about his doubts, I knew it was a massive thing for him, and probably deep down he might not of felt 100% ready.

But since then he's really sprung into action. 

He's been to every appointment except one. His face when we first had our 12 week scan was pure amazement. He fell just as hard for our baby as I did. 

The love on his face when we went for our gender scan made me realise that he will love no one more than our little girl. 

He first heard her heartbeat properly in my last midwife appointment, I could see how happy he was that she is nice and healthy. And then the worry on his face when he realised he was going to have to protect our little girl and be a dad. 

He panics all the time about how to be a good parent. He tells me all the time that it worried him that parenting only goes so far and then it's down to her peers. 

He's constantly saying that we need to find the BEST schools for her with the best kids in it. 

It's got to be a big worry for every parent. But it might be a backwards way of thinking but I think it's so sweet that he's feeling like this. Feeling so strongly about being the best dad he could ever be. 

I have 100% confidence that he will be. 

Sometimes I lay and wonder how we will work as a team. Luke's very laid back normally and very calm in most respects. I'm not. I'm very controlled and organised and I let things wear me down. 

But thinking back on all the big things to ever to happen to me and Luke, we have gotten through it together. We work so well together. He calms me down and I help organise him. And I think it's so true when you hear "opposites attract". It makes life interesting. 

Luke has never held a baby, he's never been around them so this is all brand new to him. I've told him to practise by holding a friend's baby. But he's now decided that the first baby he will hold is our own. This made my heart melt. It's such a big thing for him and I know how much it means to him. 

He asked questions that I sometimes feel are self explanatory because I forget about him never being around babies or children. I was 16 when my little brother was born, I was very hands on with him, I know how to change nappies and prepare bottles. But for Luke he's never seen a dirty nappy or a bottle, so of course he's asking them questions. It must be terrifying. 

But after everything we have been through together I know that he will rise to the challenge and he will be the best dad that any child could imagine having. 

Our little girl is lucky to have Luke as a father. 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin