Dear Diary: Indie is 8 weeks old already!

Wow, I can not believe how fast time goes. From dragging so much at the end of pregnancy to flying by when they are here. It's scary that my baby is 8 weeks old already.

Week Five:
Indie's clinginess continued and I was spending hours of the morning just vegged out in front of the TV while she slept on my chest, feeling guilty because I wasn't getting the house work done and the washing wasn't being put out. But I then read a blog post about how for 9 months your baby has spent warm and snuggled with you, going everywhere you go, listening to your heart beat and smelling your smell, it's only natural for them to want to sleep on you, where they feel the safest, and that's when I stopped thinking to myself that Indie was being clingy and stopped letting it get to me. As long as she is happy, fed & clean nothing else really matters. I do love snuggling her but I was finding it difficult when she wouldn't let me put her down.
Since we got the car back, it's been really nice getting out and about and taking Indie to visit everyone. I think the reason I was going out a lot was because Luke went back to work, and I wanted that conversation. Me and Luke have decided that once a week I would take Indie down to meet him at work for lunch. The first time I did this, Luke wanted to take Indie up to his office to show her off to everyone, which was really sweet. Everyone rushed towards us and circled Indie, Luke looked like the proudest dad in the world, it was so lovely to see.
I started taking Indie to baby massage as well, she was struggling with constipation and I was told baby massage would help. I was a big nervous going on my own, but all the mummies there were alone. Indie was so quiet the whole way through, like she was really enjoying it. I enjoyed it too, talking to other mummies and it made me feel like I was being interactive with my baby and doing the right things for her.

Indie Five Weeks Old

Week Six:
Indie was smiling!!! Like full on big cheesy gummy smiles. They were/are amazing. But finally knowing for sure that she was smiling was amazing. I really cried a few times. Every morning I would look into her moses basket and talk to her and she would clock in on me and just smile and smile, the best smile in the entire world.
During the week she also started to talk to me, coo at everything I said to her, and she became more content being left on her mat. She would just lay, kicking her feet and looking around the room, talking and smiling at everything. It was amazing to watch her. So instead of getting the house work done when she was like this, I would just sit and watch her.
At the end of this week it was my birthday and I let my mum have her over night, it was heart breaking to leave her, but I knew she was in safe hands and would be okay. I tried not to think about the fact I left her all night, but I checked in a few times. And both me and Luke woke up at 3am, because that was a normal time for her to wake up. I even surprised myself and didn't go pick her up at 7 in the morning, I actually went at dinner time to get my birthday cuddles. I felt refreshed after getting an "okay" nights sleep.

Indie Six Weeks Old

Week Seven:
Going through all Indie's clothes and pulling out the ones that don't fit her anymore and realising she probably hadn't even worn half of them, I had my favourite baby grows and was so upset when I she was getting to big for them. I couldn't believe how fast she was growing, and being shocked at how much she weighed every time I took her. I have decided that I want to make a patch work blanket or quilt out of my favourite grows of hers, something that she can keep forever, maybe use for her own children one day. I have kept the blanket from the hospital, she has literally had that from the second she was born, and it quickly became my favourite blanket for her. I will treasure it forever (hoard more like!).
She was starting to take her bottles so much better and we had to up her Oz's, she was being in an awkward stage of wanting 4 and a half, so not matter what I had to throw milk a way. But now that she's on regular bottles and amounts it was time to try and get her sleep into a routine. So we started putting her into her moses basket at a certain time every night, whether she was awake or not, and leaving her there. So soon started to know the difference between light and dark, she would be happy to lay awake babbling to herself and falling asleep on her own during the night (when it was dark), but in the morning when it was light outside, she would not be put down, she would just get angry and start fussing. I'm just happy we managed to move her body clock around.

Indie Seven Weeks Old

Week Eight:
I can't believe that my baby is eight weeks old already. It's amazing to see how much she has grown since she was born, even since she was four weeks old. Not only in length but in weight. She's getting some chubby cheeks, arms and legs on her.
Over the last weekend I was invited out to Luke's step-sisters 21st, and it was an all girls night, so Luke had Indie on his own for the first time since she was born. I had planned to stay away over night because we live to far for me to of come home. I could tell he was looking forward to the challenge and to spend some quality time with Indie. I knew my sister (who lives with us) would be very hands of and a big help if he needed her to be. And she was. I checked in as much as I could, I tried not to be overly protective but I couldn't help it. Finally at 11 Luke told me he was going to bed and for me not to ring and Indie was perfectly fine. I went to sleep at 4 in the morning but woke up at 7 and had to get home to her. It wasn't that I thought anything would happen to her, but I missed her, and I knew she was at home and I just wanted her cuddles.

During this week we got Indie to sleep all through the whole night!!! Oh my we was so happy. Not only to of had a full nights sleep, which of course was amazing, but we're doing this parenting thing right. Getting her into a routine!

Friday 28th August

Indie had her injections this week, and her routine check up. Everything was perfect with Indie, and she's perfectly healthy. Getting her injections though was horrendous. I felt like such a bad mum. I had got her all calm and happy, and she was looking at me and smiling, she was holding my hands and was evening cooing at me... Then the doctor put the first needle in! The shock and pain on Indie's face was heartbreaking, and then the scream that came after... I felt so guilty, like I shouldn't of got her so happy and made her feel so safe, for that to happen. I guess every mum feels guilty. It's a necessary evil.

Indie Eight Weeks Old

Indie at eight weeks:
Indie has really found her voice and can focus a lot better with her eyes now. When we speak to her, she will clock in on your face, and start talking. She's a lot more smiley lately, especially in the mornings. And her sleeping at night is great. Her bed time is 10pm every night (with the odd exception) unless she falls asleep earlier. She is starting to do 6-8 hour stretches of sleep, which is great for mummy and daddy. She is now able to hold her head up on her own and follow people around the room with it. She is also becoming very strong with her legs, we stand her up on the floor and chase Elijah around. Elijah is great with her and is very protective when he wants to be, a lot of the time he just wants to be part it all. Indie has found her thumb a few times, but she hasn't realised that she's in control of her own hands yet, so she doesn't suck her thumb for long.

Sucking her thumb

She is liking her dummies a lot more now, they really relax her when she's tired. Her favourite place to sleep is still led straight on my stomach and chest, but there are rare occasions that she will send her self to sleep if she is lying on her mat.

Indie Five Weeks Old

My little girl is now eight weeks old, and they have been the most tiring, amazing and most rewarding eight weeks of mine and Luke's lives. Watching her grow and learn every day just amazes me. 

It's true what they say about finding out who is going to be there for you when you have had a baby. And for all the help we have had thank you so much. Without good friends and family around us I don't know how we would of got by. 

Personally I want to thank my amazing husband, he's been a rock since day one. He's just so hands on and wants to be there for every single moment of her life. He takes over when I'm finding things tough. I couldn't ask for a better daddy for Indie, we're both very lucky ladies. 

Dear Diary: My First 4 Weeks with Indie

It's been a long time coming, and there is a lot of bits I have wanted to write. But my weeks feel like days, my days feel like hours, and my hours feel like minutes. Finding time with my newborn has been hard.

I've not been sleeping when Indie sleeps, so I end up sitting on the sofa for hours staring into space and before I know it my entire day has gone.
Luke is back to work now so maybe I will find a routine and finally get us sorted.

Week one:
For the first two days of Indie's life we was still in hospital and everything felt amazing. We had the protection of the midwifes, and knowing that if anything was wrong or hard they could help me. That and I had Indie to myself most of the time. Most of the days it was just me, Luke and Indie and visiting times were limited. It gave us that much needed bonding time with Indie. That and I was able to breastfeed at the hospital because I had the help of the midwives.

Indie One Day Old

Coming home on that Sunday was so daunting and I really worried about being on my own with Indie without the safety of the midwives. But I had a great support system, Luke, my mum & my sister. I couldn't of done that first week without them. The first day went really well, I was a little unsure about the feeding, but we got by. But that first night was horrendous. She didn't feed, she screamed, I got upset, and no one slept. We got through it though.
As soon as I got home on that Sunday I really tried to make a big deal of Elijah (our doggy) and give him lots of attention, we introduced him to Indie straight away, he just had a sniff and walked away, not 100% sure what she was. I had done a lot of research into pets around babies, and it's really important not to shut out your dog. So that's what we did.
The midwives came the next day and really tried helping me feed her, but Indie just wasn't getting it. I tried everything, skin to skin, different positions, everything you can think of. The midwives spent two hours with me but it just wasn't happening. They told me for that night to express and syringe feed her so they knew she was getting enough food. This was so upsetting for me. You either bond through breastfeeding, or you bond through bottle feeding, but me I had to syringe feed my baby, and it felt awful. I was so upset seeing my baby feed like this. But we had a better nights sleep, but by the end of the night I thought I just want to bottle feed her, as nice as the breastfeeding felt when we could do it, the stress and the upset wasn't worth it. I remember thinking to myself "I just hope she stays asleep so I she doesn't need feeding" and that wasn't how you should feel, you should enjoy your new born. The midwives rang me and I told them about formula feeding and they talked me into expressing into bottles instead of the formula. So I got my head around that but then I went to express and just blood came out! That was it, 3 hours of crying on the phone to the midwives I just gave her formula. This was the best decision I have ever made, she took to it straight away and she was so content from it that I knew it was the right choice for us. We had an amazing nights sleep that night and I was able to start enjoying her waking up. I was excited even. Making her bottles was so much fun, and seeing her finish a whole feed was amazing.
This whole week went really fast. So many visitors came, I was so happy that everyone wanted to come and see her. She got so many presents and cards and I can't thank everyone enough. My time with Luke and Indie didn't exist for a few days though, but the odd moments that is was just us was very precious. Nights became easier and we got ourselves into our own little routine. But towards the end of the week tiredness crept up on me and I was exhausted. I just never had time to sleep.
But Indie was perfect, she hardly ever cried and she loved to sleep on my chest. When she was awake, she was so content, I love looking in her eyes. Figuring her out was a challenge for us but so worth it, she might of been a bit young to have a big personality, but I like to think she did.
We went to my aunties wedding that weekend, so my family got to meet her. It was really nice to get out of the house, do my make-up, my hair and dress up a bit. And getting Indie dressed up in a pretty pink dress instead of baby-grows was really nice. I was so proud to show her off. I loved taking her pram out made me feel like a proper mummy I loved pushing it, the sense of pride that it gave me. We stayed at my mums for a couple of days that weekend, and Luke wasn't with me. I missed him a lot that weekend, and he missed Indie like crazy. It was nice to get home to him.
My first week was over and I couldn't believe how fast it went.

Indie One Week Old

Week two:

This entire week was hectic, every day we had visitors planned, at one point we had 5 sets of visitors in one day, it was ridiculously tiring. But everyone wanted to see Indie whilst she was so small. I didn't mind, I was just so tired, trying to get the house clean every time people had been, and not being able to nap because there just wasn't time, it was hard work. Both me and Luke felt very tired. But again showing her off to everyone was amazing, I am ridiculously proud of her and too smitten. We had a lot of doctors appointments within this week, but it was so nice to get out and about with her. Just walking down the streets with her in her pram made me feel like a proper mummy. At night time when it was just me, Luke and Indie, I would just sit and watch her for hours. Talking to her and finally her eyes locking in on me was amazing. And she still wasn't much of a crier, she would wake me up by cooing in her moses basket, this is the best noise in the world. 

Elijah was getting more used to his attention being split, but every now and again he would really push himself into everything, it was really sweet really. One day me, Luke and Abbie were all gathered around Indie, who was lying on my bed, and Elijah walked over, rolled on his back and laid next to Indie, just so we could all fawn over him too. I managed to get a little photo shoot of him and Indie together...

Elijah & Indie

A lot of people worry about having their pets near their babies like this, but it's so important. I trust Elijah with my life, and it's not like I would ever leave them like this alone and leave the room. But I want Indie to grow up loving all creatures and animals, it's so important for her to be respectful, and it's great for Elijah to know his boundaries. If you shut your pet out because of the baby, they become upset, depressed, resentful. They will do anything for your attention because a dog can love unconditionally, but shutting them out will make them do naughty things for attention. Elijah has now started sitting next to her bouncer chair when she is in it, to protect her. I know they are going to be best friends when she is older. 

Week two was over faster than my first week, and we really didn't achieve much around the house, but my daughter is well fed, clean and content, and that is all the matters.

Indie Two Weeks Old

Week three:

Luke made me promise that we wouldn't have visitors this week, as it was his last week off work and he wanted to spend some quality time with me and Indie. Abbie (my sister) was also off work this week, so she had Indie in her room overnight to give me and Luke a full nights sleep. Easier said than done, I made my sister sleep with her bedroom door open, and kept mine open too so I could listen incase she didn't get up when Indie woke up. Both me and Luke woke up every time Indie did, but we managed to restrain ourselves from getting out of bed and getting her. My sister did really well and when I got up in the morning she was already downstairs with Indie, it was really nice to sleep in until 8. 

The week started out really good, I went and sorted out a car on the Monday, and drove it away the same day, driving with Indie in the back was so nerve wrecking after what happen with the accident. But I did it, and it felt good to have that freedom again. The first place we drove to was Applewood Farm, and that was the first restaurant we took Indie too. Again it was nice to do something like that. Just getting out and about like that really helped me feel good, and whenever we went out people would look at and ask about Indie, which I just loved.

The best bit about having a car again was being able to go over to my mums. Knowing that if I needed her I could drive up there. It really just feels like that freedom, because I knew that without my car, and living in Manchester when family live in Accrington, I would be truly stuck, there would be no way I could manage the train on my own with Indie. So I am so happy to have wheels back.

Indie was now realising that if she made a noise that we would jump to her, she started getting very clingy in the week and wouldn't sleep unless she was on someone. So I tried to put her down even when she was awake, but then she started to realise what was doing and now the crying has started. During the day this isn't so bad, because I love snuggling her, but I know I made the rod for my own back because during the night, she just wouldn't go down in her moses basket, and at the early hours of the morning, it was impossible for me to stay awake long enough to cradle her into a deep sleep, but it would make for a grumpy mummy and grumpy baby, but daddy became our hero and stepped in every time I just couldn't open my eyes. I've always been great at waking up until now, I think for the amount of tired nights it all just caught up on me. 

On the Saturday my mum went on holiday and this was a bad day for us, I was so worried about not having someone to talk to if something was wrong with Indie. Luke even joked about having to get himself ready to make lots of hospital trips. I literally am that paranoid. But it was also knowing that Luke was going back to work and I would be on my own with Indie for the first time. I was so nervous. 

Indie was really changing in her looks. She was gaining weight and her features becoming more dominant. She was still just so lovely to stare at, she's just absolutely beautiful. And she could no longer fit into her newborn baby-grows, but still 0-3months are still to big. I couldn't believe how fast 3 weeks had gone. 

Week three was over, and I was dreading week four...

Indie Three Weeks Old

Week Four:

Monday morning wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I thought that when Luke went off to work that would be it, I would be on my own. But Abbie didn't start work until 3 that afternoon so I wasn't on my own until then. I felt a bit better knowing that. Luke messaged me what felt like every 10 minutes to make sure I was okay with Indie and Elijah, I could tell it was killing him being away from us. 

Indie was getting very clingy and really didn't like being put down to sleep. So I would spend hours a day just sat in front of the tele doing nothing around the house. But everyone was telling to leave the house work and just concentrate on myself and Indie. I was getting very tired though, I knew I needed to sleep when she did, but it was so difficult, I think out of the whole week I managed to nap once on one of the days. I think it will start getting easier when I start learning to leave her when she is whinging. 

Over these last couple of weeks Indie has really struggled to get her wind up and we would spend hours with her trying everything we could think of. So when I went to get her weighed on Tuesday I mentioned it to the health visitor and she told me to take Indie to baby massage and they will show me ways to help her with wind, colic and even the bit of constipation Indie was struggling with. 

The health visitor was impressed with her weight gain, and I was relieved to know that she was putting on weight the way she should. Not that there was cause for concern, but my being constantly paranoid never helps. 

Knowing that the health visitors are literally just down the road, I started to feel a bit less "on my own" and I have started to relax a lot more. I'm not constantly worried that some thing is wrong with her. 

This week has gone really well, we just need to get this clinginess in order, I don't want her not to be able to sleep on her own, or even go in her chair, otherwise I'm going to struggle to get anything done. Right now though, I would be lying if I said I don't love it when she settles and sleeps on my chest. 

Indie Four Weeks Old

Indie at four weeks old:

We are really trying to get her to clock in on us when we are talking to her, even trying to get her to smile, which is not happening. But she really pays attention when we are talking to her, she stares at us and the look on her face is priceless, she just looks amazed all the time. She has really found her voice and has started to coo at herself, at the rare occasions that she will sit on her own in her chair. She loves exploring with her hands. I really think that she might start sucking her thumb, she hasn't found it yet, but she will suck on her fingers (not in a "I'm hungry" way). She's not a big fan of her dummy, but every now and again it relaxes her. She really doesn't like sleeping on her back, her favourite place is led on her stomach on my chest, but if you do put her down, she prefers to be on her side, with her hand under her face, it's adorable. 

Sleeping Indie

I also bought a baby carrier the other day, so I can start taking Elijah on walks during the day, I don't feel like I can handle the pram and Elijah on my own. Plus I can't take the pram across the fields. I love it though, I feel like I am pregnant again when wearing it (the good parts of pregnancy). It also felt so nice to have her close to me when I was out. Walking seemed to really relax us both, taking Elijah for a walk felt nicely normal, and having Indie there made it special. I used to be freaked out about baby carriers always thinking the worst 'what if you fell over and landed on your baby' but since having a baby, you know you will do anything to protect them and keep them safe. You walk with care, and even if you was falling, you would land on your hands and knees, you would break you wrists before landing on that child. Plus I could of fallen during pregnancy I suppose. 

My little girl is four weeks old already, and she is just as precious as one day old.

I'm looking forward to the weeks ahead. 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin